Drew and I have always dreamed of a family composed of biological and adopted children. Five years ago we welcomed Ori, our biological daughter, into our lives and two years ago we initiated the process of adopting a second child.

The first year of our adoption journey involved research about adoption, adoptive families, adoption agencies, and everything else adoption. It also included the arduous task of filling out paperwork to complete our home study, a requirement in most states to adopt or foster children. In addition, we decided that it made more sense at the time for our family to pursue a private versus public adoption.

One of the main advantages of private adoption is that you have more control over the adoption situation. You can specify the characteristics of a birthmother and the level of openness of your adoption. We did not put many restrictions on the birthmother characteristic. We hoped to be paired with a birthmother without a history of drug abuse, but knew that even the most ideal situation would have its risks. We also hoped for an open relationship with our baby’s birthmother, knowing that open relationships can often be better for birth and adoptive families. We also felt strongly that there is no such thing as too much love in any child’s life.

One month after our adoptive family profile went live, we received a call from our agency to tell us that we had been paired with a birthmother in Florida who was due in two days. This was a complete shock to us, since we were prepared to wait for at least six months before being paired, and another four to six months before the baby was born. But after a wonderful telephone conversation with the birthmother, we frantically began preparations for the arrival of the baby. We let as many family, friends, and co-workers as possible know that we would be disappearing for the next two weeks, and accepted all offers of assistance with clothing, lodging, and much more. We frantically packed bags and tried to remember what newborn babies needed.

Kateri arrived in Florida a few hours after the birth of a healthy baby boy. She was able to connect with his birthmother in the hospital and better understand why she had made the selfless decision to give him up for adoption. Together we gave the baby his name, Rafael, and committed to deeply love him and her as members of our family.

The rest of the family arrived to Florida two days later, and after another day we were named as Rafa’s official guardians/custodians. We will remain in Florida for at least another week, waiting for Florida and Virginia to give Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) approval. And thanks to our wonderful adoption agency and attorneys, we will hopefully finalize the adoption in 6-8 months.