"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:31-34

Matthew 6:25-34 has been one of my favorite scriptures since my sophomore year of college. But as I look ahead toward the uncertainties associated with an international mission trip, I am learning to trust God's provision in new ways.

I've heard it said that our anxieties reveal the things we haven't fully entrusted to God. Ouch. Truth hurts. 

So if I can be honest, there are quite a few things I'm not currently entrusting to God. As I approach the mission trip, I'm worried what will happen if God doesn't meet my needs—financially, physically, or emotionally. 

But my fear is not the end of the story. I have hope in Jesus' promises to take care of me. 

When I look back over my life, I see that God is a need-meeter. The past year is a great example. Last May, I moved to Dallas expecting the worst. I thought I'd work a job I didn't like, in a city I didn't want to be in, with few friends and minimal joy. 

Today, I am living a life far beyond what I imagined one year ago. I love my job at RightNow Media, and the people I work with encourage me both personally and professionally. My heart has softened to genuinely love the city and people of Dallas. I am plugged into a church that has grown my faith more than any other. I've made new friendships and deepened existing ones. Life still has plenty of struggles, but I realize I'm living out a lot of answered prayers.

Most of all, I know that the life I'm living today is not by my own doing. It took me losing everything I wanted for a post-grad experience to realize I wasn't the one in control. 

One year later, I'm learning the same lesson. There's nothing I can do to manipulate the outcome of our trip. Even more, there's nothing I can do to manipulate the outcome of my next hour or day or year. The control I'll have over my life is the exact same in Ethiopia as it is today in Dallas. I am not in charge. 

So in the midst of my worries and fears about Ethiopia, I'm choosing to surrender. I'm trying to fully entrust the trip to God, and I'm excited to see how he shows up.

I know God is trustworthy not only because of what he's done in my life; but more importantly, because he sent his son to die on a cross for the sins of humanity. John 3:16 puts it so plainly: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." 

When we trust God with our eternities, we can trust him with the next hour or month or year. I can trust him with Ethiopia, too. You can trust God with the source of your worries. 

Thank you for taking the time to read what I've been learning lately. Writing this gave me some much-needed time to reflect. My anxiety is still present, but it's not as powerful. My hope in Jesus outweighs my fear. For this reason I can have genuine peace and joy! 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment." 2 Timothy 1:7