Update Nov 2020

 - Hello Friends and Family, 

Happy World Adoption Day! We hope you all are doing well during these turbulent times, and taking comfort in the warmth of friends and family, even if only virtually. 

This is just a quick email to give an update since many of you have asked us "how is the adoption going?" We really appreciate all of the continued support, and, frankly, we had been hoping we'd be sharing photos of a new family member by this time. Unfortunately, adoption is a very difficult process, and there have been very few babies available for adoption in the past several years. We have had multiple "near-misses", but have not yet been able to complete an adoption. For those of you who are interested, there are a few details below. But, please know that your support is still meaningful to us, and we are NOT giving up.

Here is a sampling of what our journey toward adoption has looked like for us this year:

• Since our last update, the adoption agency we had worked with for several months closed down, and we had to transfer to a new one.
• In June 2019, we signed up with the New Mexico state Child, Youth, Family Department (CYFD) and became registered foster parents. After short-term fostering a few kids and teens, a baby was placed in our home, long-term. This baby was born addicted to drugs, and he had 8 older siblings from the bio-mother, all in foster care. We brought him home when he was 7 days old, and after 4 months it began to look like this child might become officially available for adoption. We were ready to be his forever parents. Then, a distant bio-family member chose to take over; laws require that bio-family has 'first dibs' on adopting the child through CYFD. It was extremely hard to say goodbye.
• In January 2020, a 14-year-old girl giving birth to her second child chose us to be the adoptive parents of this child. We were present at the birth, held the newborn girl, and discussed names. The next morning she changed her mind and chose to drop out of high school to parent the child herself after all.
• Following all of this heartbreak, we adopted a beautiful Alaskan Husky puppy, Caspian, from our local animal shelter. This process was very easy.
• In September 2020, we learned that our current adoption agency has dozens of waiting families just like us, but there was only one baby placed in adoption in the past 12 months. We may have to change agencies again to keep moving forward.
• We have heard countless people talk about "all the unwanted babies being born." (If you hear someone use this phrase, please let them know it simply is not accurate)

So, adoption has been hard, and our story is not uncommon. But, we absolutely aren't giving up! At some point, there will be the right match, and we will be able to welcome a new little one into our family.

In the adoption process, it is recommended that people hoping to adopt a child reach out through their personal networks to be matched with a birth-mother. You all have been so supportive to us through this process. While we are waiting, if you happen to know a woman with a crisis pregnancy, please consider encouraging her to learn about adoption as an option. A few things that might be good to know are:

• Birth-mothers have full choice and can choose where the child is placed for adoption, and how 'open' the adoption is (whether there is regular, frequent, or zero contact between birth mother and adoptive family).
• All expenses are paid for the birth mother, including pre- and post-placement counseling and therapy
• The bio-father does not necessarily need to be identified in all cases.
• Marcus Aurelius, Leo Tolstoy, Edgar Allen Poe, and Steve Jobs were all adopted as babies
• Unplanned pregnancies are hard, adoption is hard, but an upsetting crisis for one person can be transformed into a life-changing joy for everyone involved.
• You can find out more about adoption from a neutral resource: www.americanadoptions.com, and more about our family's adoption here: tiny.cc/zappeadoption

Again, we are deeply grateful for all of your involvement, for having you walk beside us on this journey. We are still not giving up, and we are still looking forward to introducing you to our new family member!

With love and gratitude,
Ashley, Chris, and Steven Zappe
tiny.cc/zappeadoption